Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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