this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
