but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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