he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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