I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
