shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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