Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
