Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
