I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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