wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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