its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
