He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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