Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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