Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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