I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
