I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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