I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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