Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
