I wannas sexs uuuuu
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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