She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
