oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
