people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
