Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Why is your signature on my underwear?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
