i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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