I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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