There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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