he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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