sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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