So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
