I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
