Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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