FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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