Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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