im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
