When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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