Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize