How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
