I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
