Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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