I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
