do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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