What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
