I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
