Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
