i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I currently don't understand fingers.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
