Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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