Say something about gay babies.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
