He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
