Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize