It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so let's talk penis.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
