i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
