What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
