Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
