Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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