Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize