Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
