I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
